Wine for Dix

An online wine newsletter for all you crackerjack mofo peckerwoods who just aren't cultured enought to understand and appreciate my other wine newsletter - Deacon Dr. Fresh Wine Newsletter

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Wine for Dix Newsletter

Greetings!

And welcome to Wine for Dix!

You've been directed here because your wine knowledge is so incredibly stupid and pedestrian that you consider the following questions legitimate:



  • Is wine good for making ice-cubes?
  • What's the best wine to drink with McDonald's food?
  • I bought a wine that smells like cat litter, but it only cost 3 bucks. Is it a good buy?
  • Does Ice-wine come from Iceland?
  • Are wine coolers the same as wine?
  • Some wines like Champagne are served at weddings. Is there a good wine to serve at a divorce?
  • What exactly is wrong with Merlot?
  • Could the Deacon defeat Robert Parker in the Octagon?
  • Why should I listen to AC/DC when I drink Shiraz?

Stay tuned...We'll have lots of information here that will help you....

posted by Deacon Dr. Fresh @ 8:01 PM  

4 Comments:

  • At 12:11 PM, Blogger Deacon Dr. Fresh said…

    Yo Augustine! With Yukon Gold, you gotta match the colour. I highly recommend you serve a Chateau d'Yquem, Sauternes. Who cares what it tastes like? It's yellow and it has alcohol in it and that's all you trailerpark Tonya Harding crackers need to know! It doesn't come in a box, but since y'all live in a box it would be redundant anyway.

    D.D.F.

     

  • At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     

  • At 8:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Doc,

    I bit of advice on the ol' plonk if you wouldn't mind. As you know, now the cruisers are open in England 'till gawd knows when. Great for the lads but some of us aint got the stamina, if you now what I mean. Not me mind you. Stomach of iron me!

    Me old dutch normally likes a port and lemon, but she can't knees up like she used to no more. And she certainly cant do it till the larks start singing. Now I know she can't switch to lager - that's for men. She'd be chucking her guts in her hand bag again. You know, the white one. She did try a few pints once but couldn't get past 6. What is she like!!!

    I did hear from a bit of stuff Sid brought in to the Castle the other day that wine aint that bad. I think she's from Chelsea or summit.

    First question is - how do I do it? There I am, at the bar. The loverly Lindsey serving, as always:

    "The usual Charley?"

    "Yeah! Ta Linds and a pint of wine for the missus, and one for your luverly self luv."

    She'd break one on me nose if I did that! and the lads would never let it go.

    Second problem - does it go with a good ruby? I heard there's two types of wine and a mixed pink one. Which one should I choose to go with a Windy Vindy? Like, I'd never have a Fosters but I would have a Carlsberg with it. Not in front of the boys anyway. And I certainly aint asking for a pink wine. No way matey!

    Trace loves the Kohinoor on Tuesdays and Saturdays after footy at the Boleyn. I'll have to call Sanjayfirst to make sure he gets the right one from the offy.

    Thirdly, dosh. How much mulla am I gonna need to keep her drinking? Lets say she gets through about 30 quids worth of port and lemon a day. Whats in gonna be in plonk money?

    As you can see, time is running short... Oh, and don't tell anyone I asked.

     

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